I Told Myself I Was Just Being Honest

Have I ever been with a prostitute?

Yes.

Why?

Greed certainly. Adventure maybe. Relationship challenges absolutely. For a time I told myself I was just being honest and that the professional sex worker offered a degree of honesty. But that's all bullshit.

And what was my experience of the girl?

Girls. The experiences have been varied. Talent-wise, I've had three girlfriends that were better than any pro.

My first was in Tel Aviv. A Romanian girl--way too young for me but irresistibility beautiful. I felt like a thief but that didn't stop me.

The best pro was in Mexico. She was older, closer to my age. We did the hour thing in the hotel next to Adelita's. That's in Tijuana. I liked her so I made a deal. I told her, "Puedo una esposa por la Noche, no puta, una esposa. ¿Entiende? Y yo creo usted esta perfecta. ¿Entiende?" She smiled and said, "Yes, I understand. Perfectamente." I took her back to the hotel, past the disapproving doormen (it was not that kind of hotel).

She was a pro. She did know exactly what I wanted. Honestly, mostly we just lay there in bed watching Mexican TV, ¡El Channel Historico! She ordered me a fruit platter from room service. Not for her, for me. She took care of me. Mostly, we just held each other. Perfecto.

It made me realize that what I wanted was intimacy, not sex. I've come to see that as dangerous to try to get from a professional.

So I keep my experience limited to travel. I rarely use a professional at home. I understand what I want and what I can get are two very different things.