I'm 30 years old. I've had sex with a professional 4 times - all of the times were with the same girl. Worked my butt off in school to get into an Ivy League college. There I met a girl and fell madly in love with her - she was 2 years ahead of me in college. I worked like a demon, graduated a year early so I could set up a life with her. Within a week of graduating and leaving all my friends behind I found out she had been cheating on me with her boss who had a daughter my age.
She told me that her boss was better in bed than I was - I never got over that I think. In the 8 years since graduation I've met a number of attractive, intelligent women who seem to have liked me. The Ivy League pedigree and large salaries helped I'm sure. But I figured I'd disappoint in bed so I never pursued them. Over the years I got very used to being alone - thought I had made my peace with it.
But last year some friends dragged me to a strip club for the first time. It was fun at first - beautiful, friendly women who paid so much attention to me. It did wonders for my confidence. I still couldn't date normal women though - now they seemed so pallid and listless.
And then I met this girl - I won't name her. She's 24, blonde and exquisite - so beautiful it hurts me to look at her sometimes. When she touches me anywhere, sometimes my muscles cramp up because I can't believe someone so beautiful is really by my side. Her skin glows in light, and when she smiles people around her look instinctively because she touches something in them. I didn't think it was possible for people to look so good.
She told me she dropped out of high school - but after umpteen years in college and grad school all over the world, I have met very few people who could keep up a conversation with her. She discusses philosophy, science, music, literature with effortless ease. Every time I talk to her she surprises me with her insight. Did I mention how beautiful she is?
I spend 5,000 dollars a night to see her - I used to have a great job. I quit recently and started my own company which is also doing well - but the cash adds up. Every time I see her I think it'll be the last time but nothing I do gets her out of my head. She thinks I'm a nice guy but I'm just a john to her - to me, she's everything I've ever wanted or could want in another person.
My friends and family keep trying to set me up - women hand me their numbers at bars - but they fail so miserably in comparison to her.
I guess it will never work out but I can't think of anyone else I would rather be with.